Au Revoir, Mon Ami
by ravenheartlim
Summary: There are boundless "ifs" and limitless "what could have beens"... Read to find out.


**AU REVOIR, MON AMI**

* * *

"_You know that place between sleep and awake? That place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you… That's where I'll be waiting…"_

_ -Peter Pan_

* * *

It was one of the most unacceptable ends.

Some people thought he would die a dramatic, heroic death… that in the last moments of his life, he would remain standing, strapped in his 3D Maneuver Gear, fighting for humanity.

But no.

That was not what happened. It was sickness that took away his life… not some giant, invulnerable monster. He died wrapped in his blankets, confined in his sickroom… not in the dusty battlefield, covered with his own blood.

It came a surprise to the whole population of the walls.

He was still able to go to an expedition before he fell sick. It was one of the most successful missions in the history… being able to reconquer all of the Titan-infested territories of Wall Maria.

That day, he was the very visage of a victorious man… he rode with his companions proudly through the streets of Trost and into Rose. He still had that stoic, bored look on his face. But every now and then, he would throw a jest or a smart remark.

The people dissolved into a celebration that very night. Even the Scouting Legion was permitted to join in. but Levi chose to remain in the headquarters, along with the other members, who were either injured or anti-social.

Just as the doors closed, the Lance Corporal collapsed rather loudly on the floor. His breathing became faster and shallower. And for the first time in his life, he felt THAT pang of fear… the fear of death. His vision slowly blurred… and he wouldn't have closed his eyes if he knew that it would be the last time he would ever be able to see.

* * *

It seemed like forever.

He slowly opened his eyes…

The pain is head-splitting, enough to make him wish death. He thought it would all go away once his vision fully settled. But it never did… His eyes are open, but he stared right into darkness… saw only darkness- wonderfully eerie pitch black darkness… Turmoil took over him but he did not panic.

A glass fell and shattered.

"Hei-Heichou..? S-sir..? Y-you… cannot see..?" came Armin's voice.

"Unfortunately, yes…" he answered calmly.

The blonde did not bother to salute. He, instead, hurried out of the room.

In the midst of the silence that devoured the space, only one sound appealed to Levi- his heartbeat. It told him that he's presumably alone. The smell of cleanliness and bleach comforted him.

His attention was grabbed by light footsteps.

"Who's there?"

"So… you really cannot see huh..?"

"Ackerman…"

She's his supposed equal... Probably humanity's second strongest. But he thinks she has this obsession problem towards Eren Yaeger, her foster brother.

"Do tell me, Levi," he gaped at her sudden tenacity to call him by his given name. "How did this happen? You're quite unfair, you know that? Going blind just as we started winning."

He snorted, "You're noisy, Ackerman."

"Lance Corporal-"

"You're Oriental right, Ackerman?" He didn't know what pushed him to be _so friendly_ with her. Maybe he already saw it coming… "You're features tell me so… Orientals are rare. You may be the last of your race. I'm sorry about that."

"You sound like you're dying…" she frowned.

"Maybe I am..?" he wore that rueful smile. Before she could even retort, Levi pressed on, "What do you think, Ackerman? About the world if Titans never existed at all..? If we had been able to suppress that monster inside us?"

"Well sir… it could be that we are not residing in these walls right now. It could be that we are in our own countries, doing normal things… having what we could call normal lives…"

His lips formed an unconscious smile, "Then… that could only mean I would be in France right now."

"France..?" the conversation warmed up a little.

"Yes. I know that you do not know where it is… But France used to ne the famed country of the city of love- Paris."

"Love, huh..? You're not even romantic, chibi…"

"I'll let that shitty name-calling pass… Tch…"

"But you know sir… if all of these didn't happen… then, we couldn't have met each other- All of us I mean."

Seems reasonable.

If he didn't get to meet them… if there's no war… if there are no Titans… If they got to live in their own countries… There are boundless "Ifs" and limitless "What could have beens"… All have attractive outcomes. But he does know one thing…

"I wouldn't change it."

"Sir?"

"I don't want for this present to change. It may sound stupid, but I still believe in this reality. After all, the two of us got to meet each other. You even learned to resent me," his statement ended with a bitter chuckle.

"But sir, you ended up blind in this present reality that you love so much-"

He laughed, "Ackerman! All of us… We'll still end up dying, right? Whether it's because of old age, or some shitty war, or even stupid sickness… it doesn't matter. The thing is, we'll all die."

There is something in his voice that tells her he's afraid. Humanity's Strongest Soldier? THE Heishichou..? Afraid?! She bowed her head… Of course. This is blindness we're talking about. He's been deprived of his eyesight. One could consider him as good as dead.

Before she could even stop herself, she reached out for Levi's hand. Levi's visionless eyes widened. It is a gesture foreign between them.

"So you sir… are a French?"

"That's what I have been told…" he managed to answer her.

"What are you planning to do now?"

"What indeed..? Maybe I'll end up in a retirement home. But I'm too young for that. What do you think, Ackerman?"

"Seriously sir..?"

He chuckled at her simple answer… but as he did, the familiar head-splitting head ache engulfed him. "Tch…" Levi's brows furrowed. He rubbed his forehead, as if hoping to soothe the pain.

"Sir, are you okay" Mikasa tensed. He could feel it from the tightness of her hold. _So this is how it is when you have someone worrying for you..?_

He opened his mouth to speak, only to be barred by the pain. He lay on his bed, awed for a moment.

"Sir..?"

He put his best smile then forced himself to speak, "Say Ackerman, could you please leave me alone for a while..?"

"Are you sure, sir?" she doubted. She's always doubting him. Why wouldn't she?

"For fuck's sake! I'm not a useless incapacitated shit, Ackerman!" he laughed. It hurts… "Now, why don't you go out and get on with your life? You do have a lot of things to do, right?"

Mikasa slowly pulled away, "If that's what you want… take care, Heichou." The door creaked close.

Levi's alone once more… in the silent darkness.

He heaved out a sigh as he clutched his chest.

Levi never once cried. Well, no one EVER saw him cry. Even in the saddest moments of his life, he never once shed a tear… even in the midst of maddening pain.

Warm liquid slid down each side of his face.

_That's right… They say that once you approach death, you'll see your life flashing before your eyes. This sure is one hell of a flashback._

He covered his eyes with his right arm then chuckled darkly. The pain is too much now… It's eating him slowly from the inside of his head. His tears only made it worse. Even his very breathing is agonizing.

His nose became aware of the stench of blood. It is a familiar scent. _Too much flashbacks…_ But when he hurriedly wiped his tears away, he felt that it's not simple salt water. He brought his hand over his nose. The smell is rustic… _Blood… So I'll die blind, weeping blood huh… cool._

"At least I avoided clouding my eyesight with pure red…"

At the back of his mind, he recalled all of the things that he saw. All that has the color red… And he saw **her**. Her lips… that damn red scarf. For the first time, he's grateful of the girl's red scarf.

Levi coughed. He tasted blood.

Slowly, he realized that he's standing at the threshold of death. The weird thing is that, he's not crying because of it.

'_Those who bring death to others, should not fear the possibility of experiencing it themselves…'_

"_About the world when Titans never existed at all..? If we had been able to suppress that monster inside us..?"_

"_Then, we couldn't have met each other- all of us I mean…"_

Indeed it is true.

Levi couldn't imagine a world where Titans do not exist… a world where he's living in France, and not in these damn walls… a world where he's not risking his life everyday for the life of others… a world where they did not meet… a world where he will not meet her.

He's covered with his own blood… and instead of his usual lemon and detergent smell, he smells like rust… He will die alone with the thought of "What could have beens" invading his mind.

Mikasa tried her best to comfort him. It was indeed unusual. But he must admit, it was wonderful and maybe… maybe... JUST MAYBE… he had fallen a little bit in love with her..?

It is selfish to wish for more- for a longer life. But if he had one, he would probably build dreams… He would hope for a future where he too can have someone by his side- someone who would stand with him until they, too, fade away.

Maybe if he survived, he would end up falling deeply for someone like Mikasa Ackerman. She's younger though… and he would wait for her. He would prove to her that he could be as sweet and romantic as any French could be. Eventually, they would settle down then have a family of their own. He would like little raven-haired, gray-eyed or blue-eyed kids running around their home. He would probably convince Mikasa to give him four children… maybe all boys. But two boys and two girls would be fine too. He would train them and take care of them. Each would be raised with perfect manners… And they would live happily.

He smiled at his bittersweet thoughts.

'_On our next life perhaps… Au revoir mon ami… until we see each other again…'_

Levi closed his eyes. It's useless to open them anyway. He hummed to himself… and he drifted off to some distant reality… a reality where they could meet each other again and probably fall in love.

* * *

"So he bit the dust happily huh… That shortie…"the woman pushed up her glasses, grinning. "He bled to death… caused by a stupid Titan viral sickness. It was gruesome… even his tears were blood. The virus was quick. It ate him up in the brain."

The Oriental bit her lower lip.

"You were the last person whom he talked to, right?" Hange asked.

"Yes ma'am… the Lance Corporal was blind by then…"

"Ah… The first to be affected was his eyesight. Even if I came just in time, I still wouldn't have been able to save him."

Silence took over the two. A soft breeze passed by…

"He was glad, Mikasa…"

"Pardon, ma'am?"

"He was happy he got to talk to you even in his last moments…" she paused before continuing in a softer voice. "Shortie may have realized something in the last minute…"

"What?!"

"Nothing," Hange sighed. "Well… things to do; Places to go. We need to move on. It will be a whole lot tougher task, now that the shortcake is dead. Gotta go, Mikasa."

Mikasa was left standing in front of the famed corporal's grave, wondering what went into his mind.

Then, unbeknownst to her, tears fell down.

**-owari-**

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DESCLAIMER: SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN DOES NOT BELONG TO ME! XD NOR WILL IT EVER BE!

**A/N: **Konni minna!XD This is my first fanfic for SnK. And so, I'm a bit confused and all. I'm quite nervous so please, help me! X\

It really took me a while to complete this… hehehe. So please, leave a review. I would truly appreciate it! Honto ni arigatou! XD


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